I stumbled across this thread on the Slowtwitch women’s forum recently and laughed out loud enough times to find it share-worthy. Certainly more than a handful of these apply to the gentlemen as well.
You know you’re a [female] triathlete when…
1. You hit the drugstore cosmetics aisle to find the perfect shade of nail polish–to fix a chip on your bike.
2. You own more sports bras than everyday bras.
3. You own five one-piece swimsuits, and no two-piece suits.
4. Your chosen hairstyle has more to do with what fits easily under an aero helmet or swim cap than what’s fashionable.
5. You refuse to wear high heels, because they’re bad for your calves.
6. You turn down dates because they interfere with training.
7. Your biggest motive behind getting a dog was to have a new running partner.
8. You use hair ties to hold things (GPS, spare tubes) to your bike.
9. You are a complete pro at changing into and out of workout clothes while sitting in the front seat of your car.
10. You bring sports magazines with you to waiting rooms, because you can’t stand any of that Vogue/Cosmo crap.
11. You’d rather sleep with your heart rate monitor than a guy.
12. When you hear “bling,” you think “medals.”
13. Eau de Chlorine: it’s the newest, hottest fragrance for women.
14. When someone says, “size matters,” you automatically think of your bike, fit, wheels, and race weight.
15. When your kitchen is a mess, there’s laundry to be done, and mail is piling up on the counter, your bike is–and will always be–sparkly clean.
16. You have given up on trying to hide those pesky “goggle marks” around your eyes before heading in to work.
17. You didn’t cry over “The Notebook,” but you sniffled and sobbed while watching the Ironman World Championships.
18. A running coach would cringe over your form…but you’re still faster than most guys you know.
19. Your idea of a great birthday party is to run your age in miles with a bunch of friends.
21. You consider work a “recovery period” between sessions.
22. Your family is not worried if you left for your run 2 hours ago.
23. You’re up every day by 5 am, but never in to work before 9 am.
24. You can’t change the oil in your car, but you can completely rebuild your bike in 45 minutes or less.
25. Your car smells like a locker room.
26. Your idea of shopping is a trip to the Sports Authority.
27. You’re the only lady you (personally) know who uses Strava.
28. You have more pairs of shoes than any of your girlfriends–but they’re all running shoes.
29. You shave your legs religiously, but it has absolutely nothing to do with aesthetic.
30. You talk about taking “LSD and speed” daily without realizing that it weirds people out.
31. You have a special “secret spot” for stashing jewelry last-minute.
32. You don’t wear leggings, you wear Spandex.
33. You frequently wear pants to work to hide your compression socks.
34. You’re actually stoked to gain a few pounds, because you know it’s increased glycogen storage.
35. You don’t take bubble baths, you take ice baths.
36. Your girlfriends are jealous of your killer tan…until they realize it only extends to mid-thigh.
37. Your only motive for doing yoga is to stretch out chronically tight hamstrings.
38. “Little Pink Kit” is your version of the “Little Black Dress.”
39. You choose beer over wine because it’s a more effective glycogen replenisher.
And my favorite, so far:
What sort of quirks confirm that you’re a female triathlete? Or triathlete in general?